Quick Fix: Taken to Task

4 July 2013 Sophie Quick

Quick Fix: Taken to Task

Illustration by Michael Weldon

Dear Quick Fix

I was told that women have exceptional multi-tasking skills, but so far my wife has proven a huge disappointment. I have never seen her stirring a pot on the stove, while jiggling a baby on her hip, while talking on a phone cradled under her neck – like the ladies do in the TV ads. Actually, my wife is such a bad multi-tasker that she has to breathe with the aid of an oxygen tank when boiling an egg. I thought the modern woman was supposed to be a masterful multi-tasker and expert juggler. Should I divorce my wife and run away with an actual juggler/trapeze artist I recently met? She performs both her circus specialities at once while balancing an open cage of brawling lions on her head. 

Multi-taskmaster 

Dear Multi-taskmaster, 

No, you should not divorce your wife and run away with a better multi-tasker. Some activities call for our undivided attention and your wife is absolutely right – boiling an egg is one of them. An undercooked egg is a viscous nightmare. An overcooked egg is a chalky, grey-ringed catastrophe. Sometimes, outsourcing respiratory or basic digestive functions is necessary to avoid those diabolical outcomes. The outcome of boiling an egg is a very serious business indeed. Who cares, by contrast, about the outcome of a juggling/trapeze act and a bunch of stupid lions? Sure it’s multi-tasking, but the stakes are low. Pitifully low. 

Quick Fix 

 

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