Quick Fix: Shy Shuffler

30 March 2014 Sophie Quick

Quick Fix: Shy Shuffler

Illustration by Michael Weldon

Dear Quick Fix,

My local cinema has assigned seating. Sometimes I arrive late for the movie and I have to shuffle past already-seated patrons to get to my seat. Which is the correct way to shuffle past? With my bottom to the seated people? Or…the other way around? I am never quite sure. Shy Shuffler

Dear Shy Shuffler,

It’s best to face the already-seated people so you can sample their snacks as you file past. That’s how I discovered honey-glazed popcorn, boysenberry choctops and cookies'n'cream Kit-Kats – all in one amazing day when I turned up late to see the new Robocop! Movie snacks are so expensive and they’re evolving at dizzying speeds. If you don’t try before you buy, how are you ever going to get a sense of the incredible breakthroughs that are revolutionising the world of cinema refreshments? Quick Fix

Got a REAL problem? Sophie Quick can not help you. She has problems of her own, which you can follow on Twitter @squickens.
 

This article first appeared in Ed#454 of The Big Issue magazine.

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