Quick Fix: Karaoke Kool

8 December 2014 Sophie Quick

Quick Fix: Karaoke Kool

Illustration by Michael Weldon

Dear Quick Fix,

It is December. That means it is time for my office Christmas party. Each year, the party ends up at a karaoke bar and this time I am determined to impress my enchanting colleague, Patricia from Human Resources. Therefore, I will need to think very carefully about song choice. What I need is a song that is slightly obscure (to indicate extensive pop-culture knowledge), but familiar enough that Patricia will know the song and appreciate its relative obscurity. It needs to be an up-beat number that conveys a certain lusty ruggedness, while also suiting my vocal range (castrato). Ideally, I’d be looking for a song with a long instrumental break that allows me to display either my air saxophone skills or my bush-dancing moves. Do you have any ideas?

Stuck Singer


Dear Stuck Singer,

Here’s a tip on how to endear yourself to others in karaoke bars AND in life: ease up on the self-expression. The real world isn’t like Lost in Translation or 500 Days of Summer, where karaoke is a supernatural force imbuing singers with spectacular levels of charisma. Picture yourself – a real person in the real world – at 3am after your Christmas party: there’s beer in your hair, there’s hummus on your lanyard and you are not as cute a castrato as you think you are. The key is not to let Patricia from HR know how hard you’re trying. So, pick a Ricky Martin number or Grease Megamix.

Quick Fix

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This article was first published in Ed#469